I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
