She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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