and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Who did Billy Mays play for?
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
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