I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
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