He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Randomize
