i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
