their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
