if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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