He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
how does that bad decision feel?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
