I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
