if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Randomize
