I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
