and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
