she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
