I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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