singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I understand Curling. That high.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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