I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
