hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
