RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
