I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
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Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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