Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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