Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
