what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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