The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
