dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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