i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize