We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Randomize
