As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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