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I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
There's always time for handjobs
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
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