I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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