I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
