i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
