Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize