I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
The best revenge is premature balding
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
