marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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