Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
My breasts were aching with rage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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