508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
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