You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
