why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize