I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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