Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
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