And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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