we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
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I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
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Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard