U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
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I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
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Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
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