OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
These 21 People Shouldnâ€™t Be Giving Dating Advice
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?