Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.

(313): View more from Michigan

Something like a penis light saber.

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(313): They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary. (313): Something like a penis light saber. http://tfl.nu/96lm

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(312): View more from Illinois

office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death

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(312): office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death http://tfl.nu/9uva

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(502): View more from Kentucky

It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?

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(502): It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it? http://tfl.nu/bh2w

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(303): View more from Colorado

You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.

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(303): You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you. http://tfl.nu/1hxd

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(843): View more from South Carolina

so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.

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(843): so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor. http://tfl.nu/1pvp

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(407): View more from Florida

We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."

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(407): We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression." http://tfl.nu/hom0

Replies (11) Good night (1023) Bad night (3940) Order T-Shirt
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(901): View more from Tennessee

If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.

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(901): If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week. http://tfl.nu/qgby

Replies (37) Good night (3743) Bad night (1517) Order T-Shirt
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(616): View more from Michigan

I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.

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(616): I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood. http://tfl.nu/i8nf

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(802): View more from Vermont

I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.

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(802): I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me. http://tfl.nu/liob

Replies (4) Good night (1602) Bad night (1168)
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(423): View more from Tennessee

I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.

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(423): I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years. http://tfl.nu/oqic

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(310): View more from California

Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"

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(310): Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there" http://tfl.nu/gk1u

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(512): View more from Texas

I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!

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(512): I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS! http://tfl.nu/2uiu

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(908): View more from New Jersey

When / where did the additional couches appear?

(732): View more from New Jersey

Additional?

(908): View more from New Jersey

James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.

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(908): When / where did the additional couches appear? (732): Additional? (908): James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up. http://tfl.nu/kn0g

Replies (3) Good night (869) Bad night (259)
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(813): View more from Florida

It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.

(315): View more from New York

That's the best compliment I have ever received.

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(813): It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina. (315): That's the best compliment I have ever received. http://tfl.nu/0q70

Replies (5) Good night (1780) Bad night (200)
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(806): View more from Texas

I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.

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(806): I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship. http://tfl.nu/hvwx

Replies (3) Good night (571) Bad night (189) Order T-Shirt

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