the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
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