on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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