My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
In America we eat man semen.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
