I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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