I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
