Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
