Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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