Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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