i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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