He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
We smell like vodka and hangover
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