So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize