I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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