My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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