I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
