He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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