I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
These tits shall not be calmed
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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