I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
