I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
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