Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
