so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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