I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
